I’m finally doing it! … or at least giving it another try. This time, I’ve given up on the utopian stubborness of only accepting real money as payment and no shitcoins like fiat, but considering I’d have to do all of the marketing by myself it’s just not gonna happen – I tried. Maybe in the future. I’ll get some experience on the actual business around all of this before I can transition to a bitcoin-only business. I don’t have the energy to be an idealist anymore…

Well that got depressing quickly! Lets try again. I’m excited… or at least my own version of excitment where it’s something I don’t like doing (learning new UIs, working with wordpress, interacting with big corporations) but I do it anyway because I want to do something else (create and share my art, and possibly connect with other humans over it).

I used to run a blog when I was politically active, I think I miss that aspect a bit too – to have a timeline with opinions and thoughts of mine to reflect back on and present to the world. I’m not sure why presenting it to the world is necessary there – why can’t I just write a journal? I think I need the potential for outside scrutiny or something for it to have some meaning, maybe? Maybe that’s also what’s behind the drive to share my art. Hmm.

When I’m creating, it’s sometimes like having a pre-conversation with a hypothetical person – so sharing the result might be the conversation. What is the post-conversation then? Me at home with extreme anxiety over what someone might’ve thought about my art? … fuck I need to figure out smilies in these texts. No, I don’t think that would generate much anxiety today, the most difficult feeling I have around sharing my art is that I get the feeling of being, like, 8 years old trying to show a drawing to a parent like “LOOK AT THIS DRAWING I MADE, ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW?”. And that simply feels very needy and cringe of a 30+ year old to do to strangers.

Well, that’s an initial post so I have one test-post to put on the frontpage so I can see that I can single out posts by tags on different pages of the website… fucking hell, wordpress is not intuitive a bit.